生病VS就醫權
=============
臺灣算是少數擁有全民醫療保險，也就是我們的全民健保，的國家。它讓人很容易親近醫療體系，在各個醫院秉持著救人的立意之下，醫院是不能拒絕病患的，不然，隔天媒體就會砲轟得它無地可容。所以，生在臺灣很幸福，只要有全民健保卡，看病住院就醫，就幾乎不用花太多錢。但針對那些沒有全民健保的人呢？
在臺灣，生病的人幾乎有就醫權，醫院不能拒絕你去看病，不管你有沒有錢，所以就有一些人很義正嚴詞地跟批價櫃台說：｢你不能因為我沒錢，就不給我藥！｣真是冠冕堂皇的好理由啊。有時真讓我覺得我們這些乖乖繳健保、看病乖乖給錢的人，真是有夠笨地！有些人更佯裝身體不適，把１１９當計程車在坐，每隔兩三天就到急診報到，不單是醫院不能拒絕他們，更因為他們把醫院當成旅舍，有地方休息、有人照料又可以耍賴不用付錢，因為他們沒錢咩。然後就要出動政府的福利資源來幫他們，不論是急難救助金、生活津貼、醫療補助、看護補助還是取得福利身份每個月固定領一筆錢，還在說不夠用，有些人明明沒有錢，卻堅持不用健保給付的東西，硬要用自費的材料，想當然爾，到時再叫政府資源介入就好了？每每都會覺得，天啊，為什麼我乖乖繳稅的錢，被他們這樣子花掉？
好多的衝突在人的價值上，我的信仰告訴我：每個人都是重價贖回的，因著基督的寶血；每個人都是尊貴的，因有神形象在他們身上。然而在看到福利無賴時，我實在好難去看到我信仰所告知我的｢人｣。
今晚看怪醫黑傑克時，我問室友對這位密醫的做法有何想法時，我很清礎知道，我對現行不依｢使用者付費｣者，真的感到很厭煩。也許人總有落難需人家伸出援手之際，但對於只想依賴他人的援手，而不想自己去做些什麼的人，我覺得真的很厭煩。有人說，不要去想就會比較好過了，但是，這些也都是全民買單的，不是嗎？助人很好，但如果助人到最後無法使人自助，反變成要求他人一定要協助者，這真的可以說是正常的嗎？超級不喜歡的。起初的愛心？也許會被約翰批評我把它給丟了也不一定。
-------------------Felicia於戊子春沉浸於要不要找回起初愛心的矛盾中
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
searching....
Searching....
=================
I feel so anxious. Everyone asked me what to do. This is the frist time we got the situation. I need pray to keep me walk on. Today, when I left the police station, I feel sick. Still thank for my co-worker who was with me.
I have to search a call to let me hold on. I got the letter from my friend, Susan, which told me about her 5 years' working:
"On March 10th, 2003 I arrived at GFA in Stoney Creek, Ontario - quiet, timid, shy, insecure, unsure of what I was getting myself into, yet knowing the Lord was calling me here for a season."
"unsure of what I was getting myself into" so am I. = =
Jer 32:27 “Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?”
----Felicia on 2008.03.10
=================
I feel so anxious. Everyone asked me what to do. This is the frist time we got the situation. I need pray to keep me walk on. Today, when I left the police station, I feel sick. Still thank for my co-worker who was with me.
I have to search a call to let me hold on. I got the letter from my friend, Susan, which told me about her 5 years' working:
"On March 10th, 2003 I arrived at GFA in Stoney Creek, Ontario - quiet, timid, shy, insecure, unsure of what I was getting myself into, yet knowing the Lord was calling me here for a season."
"unsure of what I was getting myself into" so am I. = =
Jer 32:27 “Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?”
----Felicia on 2008.03.10
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Oh! Chi si vede! Mio PDA
Oh! Chi si vede! Mio PDA
==========================
I am so happy! This is a blessing! Who can image that my PDA could work again! After more than 7 months, it works again! I told myself again and again: " Give it up! Give it up!" I bought it since 2000. It wroked with me for a long time. Something wrong in last Aug., I tried to reset it. Since that monent, it doesn't work anymore. I felt so sad, and tried to fix it. Nomatter what I had done, it doesn't work anymore. Right Now, this Chinese New Year vacation, it works again! what a blessing it is!
天啊，真是不敢相信，在一個誤打誤撞的機會之下，那罷機已久的ＰPDA竟然被RESET成功了。本來一直處於當機狀態的畫面，動也不動，不管我試了多少方法以及按了多少次重置鍵，它一直當在初始畫面的狀態竟然解除了！我心愛的PDA又再次可以作業了。簡直是不敢置信，都七個多月了，多少次跟自己說應該要放棄了，但又捨不得，它跟了我那麼多年了，不是說可以割捨就割捨得掉的。沒想到，它又可以再陪伴我下去了。說真的，這幾個月少了它，很多事都覺得綁手綁腳的，一直以為它對我是沒有太大影響力的，但實際上卻不然。真高興它又回來了，我心愛的Palm Vx.
==========================
I am so happy! This is a blessing! Who can image that my PDA could work again! After more than 7 months, it works again! I told myself again and again: " Give it up! Give it up!" I bought it since 2000. It wroked with me for a long time. Something wrong in last Aug., I tried to reset it. Since that monent, it doesn't work anymore. I felt so sad, and tried to fix it. Nomatter what I had done, it doesn't work anymore. Right Now, this Chinese New Year vacation, it works again! what a blessing it is!
天啊，真是不敢相信，在一個誤打誤撞的機會之下，那罷機已久的ＰPDA竟然被RESET成功了。本來一直處於當機狀態的畫面，動也不動，不管我試了多少方法以及按了多少次重置鍵，它一直當在初始畫面的狀態竟然解除了！我心愛的PDA又再次可以作業了。簡直是不敢置信，都七個多月了，多少次跟自己說應該要放棄了，但又捨不得，它跟了我那麼多年了，不是說可以割捨就割捨得掉的。沒想到，它又可以再陪伴我下去了。說真的，這幾個月少了它，很多事都覺得綁手綁腳的，一直以為它對我是沒有太大影響力的，但實際上卻不然。真高興它又回來了，我心愛的Palm Vx.
-------------Felicia欣喜於戊子新春中
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Be Good to Yourself, Girls
Be Good to Yourself, Girls
===============================
Today, I saw a girl who suicided. She told to me, she will do it again. She feel so painful just because her boyfriend didn't believe her and would like to say goodbye to her. I feel sad not because she put her hope and life on the other person, but also she totally forget she have a little boy, who is only 11. The little boy also want to suicide because he though that's the only way could be together with his mother. I feel so sad for the girl doesn't want to be good for herself.
我想，我很難去暸解為什麼有人要去為情自殺。雖然這樣的理由常在社會新聞中一再地被報導。也許是因為我從來不認為死了就一了百了，而是確認死後人人要面臨審判。而一但面對審判的時刻到來，就什麼也無法補救了，唯一的機會~『生』，已經被用掉了。
今日遇上這位自殺未遂者，感覺心痛的是在小孩身上，再次看到被逼著成為大人的小孩，只因為母親將自己變成虛弱到不行的狀態，四處向人索求幸福，導致小孩被迫成長。有句話提到:｢女子柔弱，為母則強。｣我卻一點都看不出來這個母親想要｢強｣起來保護兒子，只想要將｢弱｣表達出來。也許情感的糾葛一向離我甚遠，只是，為什麼不多為自己疼惜一點，只想要控制他人來疼惜自己呢？女孩子真的沒有能力好好對待自己嗎？
也許，女孩子們在社會上被定義著需要向他人索求溫情，同時也被定義著要釋放溫情予某一特定的人。這樣的定義讓很多女孩子只見到情人，而忘了自己是可以擁有手帕交的。同時，也忘了自己可以有自己的生活圈，進而好好享受自己的生活。也許，自己一個人生活沒有想像中的瀟灑、自在，也沒法子幾乎２４小時黏著某人索求溫情。這樣就會造成自殺的緣由嗎？個人覺得，身為女孩子應該好好學習多疼愛自己一點，手帕交多一點，生活多享受一點，為自己的疼借多努力一點。
===============================
Today, I saw a girl who suicided. She told to me, she will do it again. She feel so painful just because her boyfriend didn't believe her and would like to say goodbye to her. I feel sad not because she put her hope and life on the other person, but also she totally forget she have a little boy, who is only 11. The little boy also want to suicide because he though that's the only way could be together with his mother. I feel so sad for the girl doesn't want to be good for herself.
我想，我很難去暸解為什麼有人要去為情自殺。雖然這樣的理由常在社會新聞中一再地被報導。也許是因為我從來不認為死了就一了百了，而是確認死後人人要面臨審判。而一但面對審判的時刻到來，就什麼也無法補救了，唯一的機會~『生』，已經被用掉了。今日遇上這位自殺未遂者，感覺心痛的是在小孩身上，再次看到被逼著成為大人的小孩，只因為母親將自己變成虛弱到不行的狀態，四處向人索求幸福，導致小孩被迫成長。有句話提到:｢女子柔弱，為母則強。｣我卻一點都看不出來這個母親想要｢強｣起來保護兒子，只想要將｢弱｣表達出來。也許情感的糾葛一向離我甚遠，只是，為什麼不多為自己疼惜一點，只想要控制他人來疼惜自己呢？女孩子真的沒有能力好好對待自己嗎？
也許，女孩子們在社會上被定義著需要向他人索求溫情，同時也被定義著要釋放溫情予某一特定的人。這樣的定義讓很多女孩子只見到情人，而忘了自己是可以擁有手帕交的。同時，也忘了自己可以有自己的生活圈，進而好好享受自己的生活。也許，自己一個人生活沒有想像中的瀟灑、自在，也沒法子幾乎２４小時黏著某人索求溫情。這樣就會造成自殺的緣由嗎？個人覺得，身為女孩子應該好好學習多疼愛自己一點，手帕交多一點，生活多享受一點，為自己的疼借多努力一點。
------------Felicia於丁亥歲末感嘆中-----
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Adjust
Adjust
=================
I just got a information from my youngest sister. I am glad for her, but on the other hand I have to readjust my feeling. Here am I. Loving the new workingolace, compaire the different between the two. I pray to let my heart come down, forget how much I had lost and remeber how much I earning.
許多事真的是需要調整，尤其是剛接到小妹打來的電話。怎麼去衡量得與失？原本以為不要去想就好了，但發現自個是很在意的，尤其在仔細算了一下損失之後，就會很哀怨很哀怨。不過，同時又不禁慶幸當初沒有毅然決然地遠離，在這，至少至交在身邊陪伴與打氣。已逝的事無法挽回，而為過去後悔並非我的行事原則，只是，哀，年關將近之時，算一下｢潛在｣損失的金額，還真叫人搥心肝啊~"~。
-----------Felicia感於丁亥將結束之際
=================
I just got a information from my youngest sister. I am glad for her, but on the other hand I have to readjust my feeling. Here am I. Loving the new workingolace, compaire the different between the two. I pray to let my heart come down, forget how much I had lost and remeber how much I earning.
許多事真的是需要調整，尤其是剛接到小妹打來的電話。怎麼去衡量得與失？原本以為不要去想就好了，但發現自個是很在意的，尤其在仔細算了一下損失之後，就會很哀怨很哀怨。不過，同時又不禁慶幸當初沒有毅然決然地遠離，在這，至少至交在身邊陪伴與打氣。已逝的事無法挽回，而為過去後悔並非我的行事原則，只是，哀，年關將近之時，算一下｢潛在｣損失的金額，還真叫人搥心肝啊~"~。
-----------Felicia感於丁亥將結束之際
Saturday, December 22, 2007
2007中寮山中情
2007中寮山中情
====================
These years I visited this city a lots of times. Most of times are for work. So I don’t really enjoy this city. I have to say, “This is a beautiful and kindly city.” This Saturday, we visited this city again, but this time, we enjoy it with our friend who lives in this city. She showed us what a fantastic mountain scene and what are friendly people here.
====================
These years I visited this city a lots of times. Most of times are for work. So I don’t really enjoy this city. I have to say, “This is a beautiful and kindly city.” This Saturday, we visited this city again, but this time, we enjoy it with our friend who lives in this city. She showed us what a fantastic mountain scene and what are friendly people here.
雖然只有短短一天行程，卻走訪了四戶人家以及一地自然景觀，而龍鳳兩瀑布，原以為會令人很累，沒想到，腳步緩慢進行之下，竟然很快就展現在眼前，和絢的流水聲中亦驚見冬眠中的青竹絲及以愛玩的螃蟹。
走出龍鳳瀑布拐進另一友人家中去，正好他們在院中曬剛採收的洛神花，附近還一大片花海尚未採收，原來啊，洛神花長得如此矮小呢，一直都以為它應是高高長在樹上採收的。友人家中真像寶庫，但呆呆的我竟然被騙吃了一片川心蓮，救命喲，為什麼事後才跟我說它比黃蓮還要苦，明明只有一小口而已啊。
下午又去兩戶人家中泡茶唱歌，發現真的好多人家的家中都有卡拉OK呢。其中一戶人家還有水池可以釣魚呢，你很難想像得到魚餌並不是去挖蚯蚓，而是隨手從水中撈起的水草當餌喲。另一戶人家有一大片花田，我們呢，就跟著主人到花田去，除了欣賞大片的花海之外，主人還很興奮地一直摘花一直摘花，讓我們每人都捧著一大束花離去才甘心呢。
------Felicia丁亥初冬訪友錄
===========================
PS.雖不在2006年走訪，卻也是在福爾摩沙這片島嶼中，更甚者一票均是考核伙伴。
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
accept or reject
accept or reject
=================
During these weeks, there were a lots things happened. Some decision was made. I never though that I will leave a office in a short time. Sometimes I questioned my Lord how could it happen? Wasn’t I here? I have to say that I don’t have enough faith to trust in my Lord. I feel afraid. Things are always changeable. I still try to obey. The voices surround me just tell me again and again, “you are not ok.” Each time I reject the sticker, there are more stickers come through my rejection. Finally, I have to decide to accept or still reject it. After rejecting those voices, I still question my Lord. What’s Your will? I just like a blind walk on the way. Can’t see. On the way home, I got a phone call. Is it the answer? I don’t know. But I sill want to pray to have the courage to accept what You want me to do. Let me walk under Your will.
---------Felicia on the way home
=================
During these weeks, there were a lots things happened. Some decision was made. I never though that I will leave a office in a short time. Sometimes I questioned my Lord how could it happen? Wasn’t I here? I have to say that I don’t have enough faith to trust in my Lord. I feel afraid. Things are always changeable. I still try to obey. The voices surround me just tell me again and again, “you are not ok.” Each time I reject the sticker, there are more stickers come through my rejection. Finally, I have to decide to accept or still reject it. After rejecting those voices, I still question my Lord. What’s Your will? I just like a blind walk on the way. Can’t see. On the way home, I got a phone call. Is it the answer? I don’t know. But I sill want to pray to have the courage to accept what You want me to do. Let me walk under Your will.
---------Felicia on the way home
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